DON’T BE “THAT GUY” . . .

be better

A few weeks before the 2020 presidential election, Sally and I attended a fundraising event at the site of a local charity. About twenty of us gathered for this COVID-careful affair. The evening began outdoors under canopies in the parking lot. We were pleasantly plied with drinks and light snacks from a local bakery. The host and hostess moved around the space greeting all their guests. After some informal mingling, the Executive Director of the nonprofit organization called us together to explain the goals and timeline for a food distribution program that Sally and I support. The presentation was thorough and inspiring.

Then it was time to move inside. The ED and his team led us to the entrance for a walk-through. They were obviously excited about the building and anxious to share what the remodel would look like. Since we would be inside together, the ED asked us to put on masks for this part of the evening. As we followed along, Sally and I came behind two men walking together. As we reached for our masks, we overheard one man say to the other: “Watch this.” He then pulled from his jacket a bright red MAGA mask. He put it on, turned his face to those of us behind him, and registered with his eyes the smile beneath the mask.

This little move turned an evening of solidarity into something else—something less. The tension within the group was palpable. I commiserated with the ED and his team as they tried to keep us focused on the reason we were there. Heads were down. People pulled apart from one another, almost a separation into tribes. The shift in atmosphere was sad. When we emerged from the building, many of us quickly headed for our cars.

Don’t be that guy!

A month later. The election is over, and Biden has been officially declared the winner. I ordered a beautiful blue cap with No. 46 printed on the front and Joe Biden’s name with a bright American flag on the back. The cap showed up two weeks later. I put it on, took selfies with it, and sent them out to family and friends. Then I donned my cap for a grocery run to Meijer’s.

As I was gleefully cruising down the road, I looked into my rear-view mirror and saw a partial reflection of myself wearing my Biden cap. I thought, “OMG—I am ‘that guy.’” I tossed my $30 cap into the back seat, ran my errands bare-headed, and headed home. I set my $30 Joe Biden cap next to my Barack Obama bobblehead. They look good together perched above our kitchen cupboards.

Don’t be that guy!

As I write, we are three months post-election. I have a neighbor who still has two Trump flags flying in his front yard, along with a sign that says, “Jesus is LORD over Ottawa County.” Another neighbor has a huge Biden/Harris sign in his front yard along with a “Black Lives Matter” banner. Not far from these two is a neighbor who sports a Trump flag proclaiming, “Make liberals cry again.” Alongside this gleefully snide proclamation is the same “Jesus is LORD over Ottawa County” placard. (I want to ask, “Just Ottawa County? What about Kent County?” But that comment seems snide.)

A short mile away, someone placed, apparently with pride, a poster that proclaims, “Gov Hitmer Sucks” (a cruel connect of Hitler with Michigan’s Governor Gretchen Witmer, who got on Trump’s bad side). Near that home a neighbor’s yard has the sign declaring that “All lives matter, especially babies.” Then there are yards with “We love immigrants” and “Hate has no home here” signs and on and on and on. 

What purpose is served by these lawn missives? Proclamation? Or provocation? Are they anything more than that guy or gal hoping to tick off the other guy or gal—an attempt to spark a reaction?

Grown-up ways

“When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became an adult, I put the ways of childhood behind me” (I Corinthians 13:11).

I also wonder about the “Jesus is LORD” signs. Do Christians think this public profession of faith fulfills a Jesus promise: “Whoever acknowledges me before others, I will also acknowledge before my Father in heaven” (Matthew 10:32)? Are Christians who plant these placards on their lawns hedging their bets—earning extra credit? If every Christian in every community in every state in the country were to post such a sign, would this be a good thing, an evangelical mission movement? Or would it be like planting the conqueror’s flag?

If a Muslim family in Holland Michigan put up a sign that read, “Allahu Akbar,” would Christians be okay with that? Or a bumper sticker on their car—can you imagine? Why shouldn’t Jewish people put the Shema on placards in their front yards—“Hear of Israel, the LORD is God, the LORD is one!” (Deuteronomy 6:4)? Where people of these religions are the majority, maybe they do. I’m not sure. I do know, having lived in Jerusalem for several years, that I never saw evidence there. I’ve seen the Shema posted on synagogues, and I know the Jewish confession is in the mezuzahs on doorways of Jewish homes. I’ve also seen the Muslim prayer on mosques. But I’ve not seen either the Shema or the Muslim prayer on lawn signs or caps or bumper stickers.

(Note: Allahu Akbar translates as God is Great. Unfortunately, most of us associate this phrase with terrorism. However, for the vast majority of Muslims, Allahu Akbar serves as the equivalent to Jesus is Lord, or the beginning of the Jewish Shema, “Hear Israel . . .”)

So here is where I come down: It’s time to take down the signs—all of them. It’s time to put the MAGA and Biden caps on the top shelf of your coat closet. How about we scrape off our bumper stickers too while we’re at it?

How about a different guy?

In my faith tradition there is “this guy” who went around preaching good news. He was asked once about the Law—capital L. For a religious Jewish person, there is nothing more important than the Law, the Torah, the first five books of the Jewish Bible. The Torah is the key to life abundant, the way to be blessed, and the path toward blessing others. So this guy was asked about the Law—capital L. 

Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?

This guy replied: ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments (Matthew 22:36-40).

You don’t have to be a follower of “this guy” to see the good in this guy’s response.

So, like, my actual neighbor?

Because this Guy is my Guy, here is what his call means for me. “That guy” in the red MAGA mask? He is my neighbor. “That guy” with the Trump flags and the “Jesus is LORD” placard? He’s my neighbor too, both literally and biblically. And me (“that guy” with the $30 Biden cap and bobblehead Obama figure)? I’m their neighbor, like it or not.

It might be time to sheave our swords—along with our signs and caps and everything else that make us “that guy or gal.” Perhaps we can look out our living-room windows and see our neighbor as someone to love rather than as someone to willfully piss off, or evangelize, or . . . 

I don’t know how far we can extend this loving feeling, maybe not all the way to those who demonstrate willful racism, sexism, and all the other negative-isms. Figuring out how to love our enemies is post-graduate stuff, and maybe we’re not ready yet.

Grown-up grace

At one time or another each of us has been “that guy” or “that gal.” So maybe a little grace toward our flag-waving, cap-wearing, bumper-sticking fellow citizens is in order. Let’s start there. But let’s show grace that is truly gracious, not cheap or self-righteous. You and I cannot continue to act like children and expect to be treated like adults. Caps on shelves, signs in the attic, and bumper stickers only on riding lawn mowers might just be a place to start.