Dopamine: It’s a Thing

That’s gotta be my problem!

So I’ve been reading about driven personalities because I think that might be me. And I’m worried about it as Sally and I venture forth on the El Camino. The issue came up a week ago as we were climbing steps in preparation for a bit of mountain climbing on the first day of our trip. Sally and I had our packs on and we had some pretty significant weight in them— 12-15 lbs. The steps we were climbing led to a beautiful overview of Lake Michigan. Therefore, there were other people climbing with us.

Some of the folks on the way up or down with us are wondering what we’re doing given the backpacks and all. So they ask. We stop and tell them we’re walking 483 miles on a trek called the El Camino. For me, that’s enough information. We have steps to climb, a goal to reach, miles to go before we rest—etc. But Sally, no! She has to talk to them about when we’re going, why we’re going and with whom and, and and …

I Gotta Go!

I stand there with her for a minute or two, and then I mumble something about the top or the bottom and “gotta go.” And so I go—up or down but bottom line is “I gotta go.” But Sally, no! She stays and chats. And I kind of get it. She visiting with a nice elderly couple and they’re interested. I hear her laughing with them. My guilt level rises a little, but there are steps to climb, so I push the guilt back into the farther recesses of my mind.

Of course, this is why everyone loves Sally, right? On her way up she meets me coming down. I say, “I‘ll wait for you at the bottom.”

She says, “Don’t bother.” Oh, oh, that’s not good. 

“What?” I ask.

“It’s not a race, Marlin. No blue ribbon at the end of the day.” She’s climbing out of hearing range, so I trudge down knowing exactly what she means.

This Is Not a NEW Thing!

See, we talked about this—her and I. We agreed that we were going to do this together, and that we were not going to be in a hurry to get from one place to another. And along the way there would be time to stop and talk to the people we met on the walk. I remember saying all the right things. “We’ve got to enjoy the journey, smell the roses, treasure the moments, be fully present” and every other cliché in my preacher grab bag. Then when the time actually came to practice what I preach—I totally blew it.

Let Marlin be Marlin, right?

It’s hard to change your behavior. I’m the guy who gets up to clear the table while others are still eating their dessert. My daughter-in-law gets all over me about this. “Just stay seated and enjoy the time with us.” So I sit down and chew the inside of my cheek waiting until I think I’ve sat long enough. My son says, “Let him be. He’s happy.” There you go, son.

But am I happy? That’s debatable. I actually like working. Seriously, I enjoy mowing my kids’ lawns, washing and polishing cars, making bread, cleaning things—kitchen, bathroom, garage. I actually wipe down the toilet after I use it. I mean, who does that? Well, I do!

Okay, I blame dopamine. Scientists say it’s part of your reward system. Evolutionarily speaking it’s part of a system to reward you when you’re doing the things you need to survive. You know, things like eating, drinking, competing, reproducing and clearing the table. My brain puts out a lot of dopamine. That’s what I’m thinking.

Junk food and sugar also trigger a release of dopamine. I love sugar.

Trust the Science

What I’m saying here is that it’s not entirely my fault that I’m like this. It’s how I’m wired. I’m just fine the way I am. Right?

Actually, there is some truth to that, but I know I can’t blame some hormone in my brain for my driven personality. Well, not entirely, at least. And I can stop and be more present with the people around me. It’s hard though. I get antsy, bored and then I need to move.

The Mailman

This week I was doing a training walk by myself. I came upon a postman. He’s young and he’s walking down the sidewalk meeting me. I stop! And I chat with him about his job. “How many miles do you walk in a day.”

“10-12.”

“So 12 miles?”

“10-12.”

“So 11 miles?”

“Okay, 11.”

“How many days a week?”

“5.”

“So 11 miles a day, 5 days a week.”

“Yes.”

“How many weeks a year?”

“50.”

“So 11 miles a day, 5 days a week, 50 weeks a year?”

“Right.”

“And how many pounds in your bag?”

“No more than 12.”

“So 11 miles a day, 5 days a week, 50 weeks a year, carrying 12 pounds in your bag?”

“Yes. And Christmas time,” he says, “whew, brutal, just brutal.”

Perspective is Really, Really Good to Get

483+ miles in 35 days is something. It’s a challenge, a feat. But 11 miles a day, 5 days a week, 50 weeks a year, well that’s something else altogether. That’s amazing is what that is. And then we talked about my Camino trip. We must have chatted, what?—8 minutes?

See? Dopamine be danged! I can do this!